Same Recipe, Different Cookies

I love to bake.  It might be partly my personality, but I think it’s also safe to suggest that my love for baking is - mostly - directly tied to my love for eating.  Specifically for eating baked goods.  

I enjoy baking all sorts of things: muffins, cakes and cupcakes, brownies and bars, quick-breads… but cookies are at the top of the list.  I’m not sure that I have a favorite kind of cookie; chocolate chip and glazed lemon would be battling it out for the #1 spot, I think.  

One of the things that I like about baking is the consistency you can achieve.  My cookies come out just the way I want them to with my favorite recipe, as long as I follow it.  Each cookie has the same amount of butter, flour and sugar.  Each contains an acceptable number of chocolate chips, or has the perfect layer of icing.  Once they’re cooled and lined up on a plate they can be hard to choose from, because they are all delicious and they are all, basically, the same.

Children are not like this.

I have four of them.  All of the same gender, no less.  

They contain all of the same ingredients; they’re a combination of the same genes, grew up with the same parents in the same house in the same generation, attended the same reading groups and schools, ate the same meals, heard the same sermons and lectures, watched the same movies, and even wore a lot of the same clothes...  And yet they are so different!  

I’m not talking about that one weird cookie that somehow missed out on the raisins, or got too close to the edge and is a little dark.  No, they’re all - all four of them - very different.

It’s like I somehow made a magic batter that produced a sugar cookie, an oatmeal raisin cookie, a chocolate chip cookie and a coconut macaroon.  Short of trickster uterine gremlins, I can’t think of a good explanation of what happened to those same ingredients that made them turn out so differently each time.  

A “bun in the oven?”  Nuh-uh; it’s a mystery meal in there.  Who knows what’s comin’ out!  All four of my daughters have vastly distinct personalities, talents, and tastes.  That’s not to say that they have nothing in common; that they don’t share some of the same traits and preferences, they do.  But no two are very much alike. 

When they were younger, this level of diversity bothered me a bit.  Just as I would get into a routine and think that I had parenting figured out, the next kid would come along and test the established routines, break all of the patterns and force me to re-strategize.  

Their variations in personality meant that they would choose different paths of disobedience and, similarly, would each respond to corrective measures in their own - not similar - ways.  Behavioral corrections had to be customized to the kid, while the expectations needed to remain consistent for the group, which was difficult.  They all faced their own unique struggles and challenges, as well, all of which required individualized plans of support and direction.  

By the time #4 was on the way, I figured she couldn’t throw anything at me that I hadn’t already seen.  She ran me through the wringer just as much as the other three, none-the-less.  There were moments when I wished for a little more uniformity, and had to remind myself that kids aren’t “cookie cutter” consistent.  They were bound to have some differences; to challenge us in their own ways…

 

Two of them love veggies, one tolerates them, one considers anything green to be unjust punishment.  

A couple will listen to the same song on repeat for five hours, and the others will want to murder them after the third loop, before the song is ‘ruined forever’.  Some like to listen in silence, others sing along - loudly.  One sings all the time, music or not.  (Thank goodness she has a strong, pleasant voice.)  

Two of them kind of enjoy the spotlight, at least a little.  One would rather die than receive any exclusive attention, good or bad.

They all get decent grades, but a couple of them consider a B pretty equal to an A, and one considers it a tragedy, complete with tears.  

Two are a bit… messy.  One has finally broken a hoarding problem.  One is tidy-ish when prodded.  One is a minimalist and also an artist, whose room revolves between meticulously clean, and a hot mess.

Two are more naturally athletic.  Two others tend to get jealous of that fact.  

A couple are math wizzes.  A couple prefer language to numbers.  

One writes incredibly well.  One would prefer to do away with English altogether.  

As the years have gone by and they’ve grown, I have come to appreciate their individuality a lot.  For one, there was never any temptation whatsoever to lean toward a favorite child.  🤣  How do you compare Glazed Lemon to Chocolate Chip!?!?  They are, and always have been, too different for that type of comparison.  

Furthermore, each of them bring refreshingly unique perspectives, insights and humor to our family.  As an extension of this, there is no lack of varied opinions.  And while that may make choosing a game or movie difficult, it also opens all of us up to trying things we might not have, or seeing things we might have missed.  I think that the diversity of viewpoints encourages the independence of thought that they each possess. 

Given that, like my cookies, they all DID contain the same ingredients, one can only assume that there is something else - not gremlins - that happens in the kiln of life that doesn’t happen to the batter in my GE gas oven.  There is some other input, which my cookies lack, that goes into the making of a person: individuality.  

That is where the magic happens.  We may have put all of the same things into them, but - by God’s grace and creativity - they took those genetics, love and direction, and each of them turned the recipe into something uniquely beautiful.  And something profoundly convicting.  

I sometimes draw the mental image of the Creator up there just waiting until those babies are in the oven and then sprinkling in the right blend of spices that He knows will deliver a roundhouse kick straight to my hypocrisy, and force me to grow as they do.  In reality, He gives only what’s good; we own our own sins.  But He does allow our rough edges to smooth one another out.  While I’m teaching them patience and compassion and humility they’re teaching me patience and compassion and humility… and each in different ways.  It’s like the Common Core of humanity; I’m getting each lesson four times through four methods, so hopefully they’ll stick.

Thus, while each of them presented their own particular type of challenges, they each boast their own distinct gifts and personalities as well.  In a batch of cookies this sort of inconsistency would indicate a problem with the batter.  An unblended pocket of burnt butter, or a bitter clump of baking soda which eventually finds its way to an unfortunate and unsuspecting pallet is not a tasty mistake.  But in life they’re not mistakes at all.  This variety in my children has helped me to see the bigger picture here; the household diversity as it is expanded to a global scale.

There is one particular line from the Incredibles movie (though it may have originated elsewhere) that intrigues me: 

“When everyone is super, no one will be.”

The thing is, this is both very true, and also not true in the least.  If everyone was ‘super’ - or gifted or special - in the same manner, then no one would be special at all.  

Individuality fixes that.  

It gives us our own brand of ‘special.’  The exact branding isn’t something we necessarily get to choose.  But it’s there, and I believe it exists for our pleasure and our purpose.  Why?  Because these gifts were given by the one who created both pleasure and purpose.  And, while we don’t always get to pick our talents, we do get to choose how to use them; how best to apply our gifts to the world and society in which we live.  

Some of our gifts are for our pleasure, to see the goodness from our Maker, and enjoy our blessings.  And on that note, I’m going to take a moment to brag on my girls and their individual interests and abilities:

Two of them have a passion for - and unique view of - cinematic entertainment, and they stream a podcast about movies and television shows (which can be found here if anyone is interested).  

My oldest is a very persuasive writer, and a talented artist:

My deuce is a gifted athlete and a budding photographer:

My third-born is also good at art, and loves music and engineering.

A couple of them enjoy Star Wars, but my youngest has learned how to read Huttese and Aurebesh, can describe the difference between all of the eras of troopers and the various classes of ships, and could probably actually survive - maybe thrive - in the Star Wars Universe.  She has the same affinity for birds, and can identify even the most obscure ones from our area.  She also plays violin and softball and has a knack for drawing.

These creative abilities are the reflection of the Creator in us - “God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.” (Gen. 1:27)   

Other gifts that we’re given are for service.  They are our purpose and calling; the contributions we are expected to make, to serve God by serving one another.  This symbiotic relationship between differently talented people is very much like the divine distribution of spiritual gifts that is demonstrated as pieces of a body in Paul’s first letter to the church in Corinth.

 “For the body is not one member, but many.  If the foot says, “Because I am not a hand, I am not a part of the body,” it is not for this reason any the less a part of the body.  And if the ear says, “Because I am not an eye, I am not a part of the body,” it is not for this reason any the less a part of the body.  If the whole body were an eye, where would the hearing be? If the whole were hearing, where would the sense of smell be?  But now God has placed the members, each one of them, in the body, just as He desired.  If they were all one member, where would the body be?  But now there are many members, but one body.  And the eye cannot say to the hand, “I have no need of you”; or again the head to the feet, “I have no need of you.”  On the contrary, it is much truer that the members of the body which seem to be weaker are necessary;  and those members of the body which we deem less honorable, on these we bestow more abundant honor, and our less presentable members become much more presentable, whereas our more presentable members have no need of it. But God has so composed the body, giving more abundant honor to that member which lacked, so that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another.  And if one member suffers, all the members suffer with it; if one member is honored, all the members rejoice with it.” (1 Cor. 12:14-26)

Now if we take this same lesson on spiritual gifts and apply it to all God-given talents (which I think is relatively safe to do, since there is much overlap in those areas - a nurse is good at caring for the body with medical understanding can improve the lives of the pastors and missionaries they care for, and are vital to the global ministry in their own way) ... then we can see even more clearly that the diversity is no mistake.  And we can understand not only how, but also why, those extra ingredients got into the batter in the oven.  

“For You formed my inward parts;

You wove me in my mother’s womb.

I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made…”

(Psalm 139:13-14a)

So, while we, as humans, are all made of the same basic recipe - we are composed of the same elements as the very planet we occupy - 

“All go to the same place. All came from the dust and all return to the dust.”  (Eccl. 3:20)

we are also given divine elements - secret ingredients - as well: depth of patience, advanced cognitive abilities, steady hands and eyes, creative and daring minds, unique views and visions, heightened bodily strength and agility… for a purpose.

“God made me fast. And when I run, I feel His pleasure. ”

― Eric Liddell

(If you haven’t watched “Chariots of Fire”, please do.)

The differences aren’t inconveniences or mistakes.  They’re the point.

Further reading:

“Since we have gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, each of us is to exercise them accordingly: if prophecy, according to the proportion of his faith; if service, in his serving; or he who teaches, in his teaching; or he who exhorts, in his exhortation; he who gives, with liberality; he who leads, with diligence; he who shows mercy, with cheerfulness.” (Rom. 12:6-8)